Image, 1; Character, 0

Miss USA fell down, but kept her crown, as The Donald came to her rescue.

Amidst rumors and reports of drinking while under age and failing a drug test, Miss USA Tara Conner was nearly stripped of her title. Donald Trump, owner of the Miss Universe pageant system, claims that he had expected to dethrone the Kentucky babe. But that was before he met with her. Tuesday morning, Miss USA/Connor explained to Mr. Trump that New York made her do it. Really, all that sin and temptation of the big city, it was just too much for a humble girl from the Bible belt. Mr. Trump, moved by this Manhattan defense, changed his mind and announced that he wouldn’t take Tara’s tarnished tiara away, provided she completes rehab.

It was a far cry from “The Apprentice”, where Mr. Trump displays little patience for fools and their excuses.

But then again, none of them has quite Miss USA/Connor’s gift for working the blessings of nature and artifice.

“I believe that she can set a great example for troubled people — and she’s troubled — throughout the country, throughout lots of countries, that have problems with alcohol, that have problems with life. I believe she will be an amazing, amazing example,” The Donald trumpetted, according to The Washington Post.

An example of what? How to make a bathing suit and a bottle of blonde your magic carpet to gold and glory? How to manipulate men through an excuse-laden sob story? How to mock every hard-working, law-abiding American girl who wants to be valued for something other than her face and figure?


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